Chuck Larsen

My Dad lost his right arm in an electrical accident when he was 56. Although the arm was gone, he could still feel the pain, and it often itched him. This is called “Phantom pain.” Like the phantom pain experienced by my Dad when he lost his arm, false guilt is produced by something that isn’t really there. We’ve failed to live up to the expectations of others, we’ve not met a standard that we’ve set too high for ourselves, or we’ve let God down in such a way that we can never be forgiven. Like my dad scratching the palm of his amputated hand, we often dig at the itching from past sins and unmet expectations.  Bruce Demarest, in “The Cross and Salvation,” explains the source of phantom guilt.  He writes, “Some Christians live in the legacy of a stern and legalistic upbringing, in the home or in the church that has imposed on them a stringent code of ethics with accompanying taboos. Unfortunately, certain Christian churches have been legalistic, more negative than positive, stressing personal wretchedness rather than God’s grace in Christ. Other believers may have imposed upon them the unrealistic burden of sinless perfection, which insists that God accepts them only on the condition that they be perfect.”

I’m convinced that God doesn’t want us to live lives overwhelmed by this sense of guilt. He not only wants us to be guilt-free, he wants us to “feel” guilt-free. But this is more difficult to achieve. Demarest goes on to suggest an answer to this problem. He continues, “The solution to this unreasonable sense of guilt is to recall that the omniscient Lawgiver and Judge declares believers “not guilty!” and, indeed, clothes them with the righteousness of Christ. Christians need to remind themselves that they are God’s forgiven, justified, and adopted children. The righteous God has pardoned, cleansed, and freed true believers from the burden of sin and guilt. Overly scrupulous Christians need to celebrate this glorious reality.”

I’m also convinced that this “glorious reality” doesn’t come by hard work. It can only come as we grow in our walk with God.  The more we get to know Him, the more His grace can overwhelm us and cleanse us from the misery of phantom guilt. Meditating on God’s Word to us can help with this process of stepping into this glorious reality.  After pointing out the sinfulness of every human being in the first three chapters of his letter to the Romans, Paul offers us the solution.  In Romans 3:21-24 he writes, “Now God says he will accept and acquit us—declare us ‘not guilty’—if we trust Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way by coming to Christ, no matter who we are or what we have been like. Yes, all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious ideal; yet now God declares us ‘not guilty’ of offending him if we trust in Jesus Christ, who in his kindness freely takes away our sins.”

Paul tells us that once a person comes to faith in Christ, they become “new” creatures. We remain ourselves, but there’s a brand-newness about our lives that is part of God’s supernatural movement in our lives. He doesn’t destroy our old selves in that we are re-created from scratch. The essential elements that make up our true “selves” are still intact. He redesigns us, so to speak. The “old things” that pass away are the old ways of doing things and the old ways of acting, and it begins with God renewing our old ways of thinking. That’s what he means when he writes to the Romans to “let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (See Romans 12:2). It begins with changing the way we think about ourselves. I guess you could say that our “self-image” has changed. We are no longer who we thought we were. We’re no longer who others think we are, and we’re not what we think others think we are. All the old tapes, for good or for bad, need to be erased, and we need to start listening to a new soundtrack.

God says that I’m acceptable! In Romans 15:7, we read, “God has accepted you.” 1 Peter 2:9, referring to a very similar theme, says, “You have been chosen by God.” You’re not on the sidelines waiting for your name to be called for a 3^rd grade baseball game. Your name has already been called! Further, you have been “received.” In a world where many people feel “turned away” from the high life, God has not done so with us. The Psalmist writes, “Even if my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will receive me!” By the way, it’s not just passive acceptance of you; it’s eager, joyous acceptance because “the free gift of God’s grace makes all of us right with God.” (See Romans 3:24). There are several wonderful biblical truths about our acceptability with God.  The righteousness of Christ becomes our righteousness (Romans 5:11-21). We are “justified” in God’s eyes, and looking through the eyes of love, He sees us as already “perfect” (which we’re not practically) (See 1 Cor 1:2, 30, and 6:11). He even calls all believers “saints.” It’s “Saint Chuck” writing to you! See also Hebrews 10:14. All our failures and sins have been buried into the deepest abyss of the seas… i.e., they are gone!

All of this is by God’s grace! That’s the way he thinks about us, and we must let our thinking be transformed from the old way to God’s way.  It’s a work of God’s grace. We can’t change the way we think about ourselves by trying hard or working hard. We’ll only fail and end up more discouraged than we are. It’s all a matter of believing what God says about us! Paul says, “Now to a laborer, his wages are not counted as a favor or a gift, but as an obligation (something owed to him). But to one who, not working [by the Law], trusts (believes fully) in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited to him as righteousness and makes him acceptable to God! (See the Amplified version of Romans 4:4-5).

Since we are saved by Grace and sustained in this life by God’s Grace, it is foolishness to attempt to win acceptance, love, meaning, or purpose in our lives through being perfect. We’ll never be perfect. There is no one who is completely righteous, no, not one!  I read that somewhere. Paul tells us that in Romans 3:10, and he is quoting it from the Old Testament. When we focus all our energy on being perfect, we ruin our own lives, and we ruin the lives of those around us. We all sin, we all make mistakes, we all say things we’re sorry for, we all do things we wish we could take back.  Paul knew this dilemma himself and described it for us in great detail in Romans Chapter Seven. We must come to grips with the truth regarding our own sinfulness if we’re ever going to be able to have healthy relationships with others. Jesus only eats with sinners. He did not come to save the healthy but the sick. The Publican who acknowledged his sinfulness, in contrast to the religious leader who thanked God for his personal righteousness, came away justified by Jesus.

In his men’s seminar, David Simmons, a former cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys, tells about his childhood home. His father, a military man, was extremely demanding and always pushed him for perfection in everything that he did. He never had compliments for any of Dave’s accomplishments but rather pushed him to achieve more. When Dave played High School football, his father was unrelenting in his criticisms. After every game, his father would point out everything he did wrong. Dave writes, “Most boys got butterflies in the stomach before the game; I got them afterward. Facing my father was more stressful than facing any opposing team.” By the time he entered College, he hated his father and chose to go to the University of Georgia because it was the furthest from home. After college, Dave was the second-round draft pick for the St. Louis Cardinals. Joe Namath (who later played for the NY Jets) was the first-round pick. Excited, he called his father and told him. His father asked him, “How does it feel to be second?”

I remember the fad-psychology book in the ’70s entitled, “You’re OK, I’m OK.” It talked about how we relate to ourselves and to others. You can see yourself as OK and others not OK. You can see yourself as not OK while others are OK. Sometimes, you might see yourself and others as not OK, but the right way to live is to see everyone as OK. I’d argue that the biblical view of this would be, “I’m not OK, You’re not OK, but that’s all OK.” Jesus often taught us the importance of love. It is the greatest commandment, and if we can learn to keep that commandment, we’ll satisfy the entire “law and prophets.” We are to love God first and foremost and then love others also. Paul writes a famous passage in his letter to the Corinthians all about the nature of love. In that chapter (1 Corinthians 13), he defines love in various ways. One of the more important ways is that Love doesn’t keep score. It doesn’t record a record of wrongs. It doesn’t write down a list of weaknesses and failures. Rather, love looks past weaknesses and even overlooks wrongs. I like the way the Living Bible puts it; “Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends.” God’s love for us inspired His grace for us. Look at the Cross! “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Our love for God should inspire our grace for others! Perfectionism will destroy any relationship