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1 Peter 4:11, Galatians 5:13

Serving Others = Serving God!

Gary Chapman, the author of “The Five Love Languages” just recently published an article entitled, “The Five Signs of a Healthy Family.” In this short article he identifies some significant attitudes that make up a healthy family. First he says, “In a healthy family there will be an attitude of service.” If you Study Ephesians 5 and 6 regarding instructions to wives, to husbands at to children, the key issue is acceptance of one’s role in the family unit, embracing it and living it out in our daily lives. Wives are challenged to submit. Husbands are charged to love sacrificially, and children are commanded to obey. Fathers are given an additional admonition regarding the children to “…bring them up in the discipline and nurture of the lord.” When these attitudes are embraced within the family out of reverence for God, and His Word, service for one another becomes a way of life and make for a healthy, happy home.

He suggests a couple games we can play in the home to foster these attitudes. Game one is reciting a statement in the home designed to help promote these attitudes. Whenever possible say “I really appreciate that…” When a member says that to you, your response should be, “and I really appreciate that…” He says, “The purpose of this game is to have a heart of appreciation and gratitude. This shows both love and respect for those that we serve. Our family is most paramount. That is, if we are not serving in the family, then how can we serve elsewhere effectively”? The second game is similar but one designed to encourage more intimate communication. One would say “do you know what I really like you to do…” The respondent will then say, “I’ll try to remember that…” It’s a way to communicate our desires and a way for others to respond that they hear and understand.

He recommends that we make these phrases games that we actually play around the dinner table or at times the whole family is together. In this sharing time the family members could also recognize the times other members have served during that day and acknowledge them. Responding in this way encourages the members regarding the importance of a service attitude. He concludes his small article on the attitude of serving by adding that serving each other should also serve as a transition to serving others as a family. He suggests such things as visiting the sick as a family, doing service projects for neighbors, serving in a homeless shelter, and other projects. This so called sign of a healthy family, reminded me of Peter’s exhortation to us all in his first epistle, Chapter 4 and verse 11. He says, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” Paul also exhorts us in Galatians 5:13. He writes, “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. Serving each other within the family, and then serving others as a family, is indeed one way to promote spiritual wellness in our homes.

Psalm 73:28, Hebrews 4:16

Reach out to God

During the course of our series on “Family Matters”, I’ve focused on the biblical instructions for marriage, sex, home, and family. The instructions God has given us lead to the healthiest and happiest life as well as the healthiest and happiest marriages and families. Unfortunately, we all fall short of God’s perfect standard. Several have suggested that I’ve ignored the hurts and pains of the divorced; the single parents, and those with unbelieving spouses in the congregation. I’ve done more to cause them pain and frustration than to help. Presenting a clear picture of God’s plan sometimes arouses the pain in our hearts as to how far short we fall from that. This is true for me as well. I’m often insensitive to the situations around me and am always thankful when reminded to be more gracious. I try to do that. Being far from perfect myself, I see the instructions and rewards of living according to them as opportunities to enrich my personal life and family life by drawing deeper into God’s care and protection. My intention is that others will hear it this way also. However, I often get in the way of my own intentions and the purpose comes out skewed. Please forgive me if I’ve offended you!

Psalm 73 is written from the perspective of a sufferer who sees all around him rejoicing and celebrating and living life to the fullest. He dumps all his pain and frustration out on God in prayer and comes to a conclusion in the last verse of the Psalm. He says, “But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge…” In this verse, 73:28, I hear the Psalmist giving me instructions on how to manage my failures and frustrations. The Psalmist gets as close to God as he can. A constant focus on how we should live and what we must do leads to nothing but frustration and failure followed by bitterness. But God is there for us. Actually, God is here for us! He sent his son to take care of this overwhelming painful problem in our lives. His Son sent the Holy Spirit to be our comforter. We must always remember Hebrews 7:19. It says, “…for the law made nothing perfect; on the other hand, there is the bringing in of a better hope, through which we draw near to God.” When we draw near to God, He will draw near to us! (I read that somewhere also!). We should face the hurts and pains in our life by deepening our relationship with God.

It’s interesting that in the Pentateuch only Moses drew near to God. He went into God’s presence and came back with a shining face. He carried with him the laws of God and presented them to the people. He rebuked the people, he confronted their sin, he instructed them in God’s way, and he laid down the law, so to speak. When I share from God’s Word, there is nothing about me that shines! Please don’t think I consider myself or my situation in any way superior or better off than yours. When I come across that way to you, please forgive me. It’s my flesh at work in me again. The ground at the foot of the cross is level. We all draw near to God in the same way. None of us shine more than others. All have sinned and fall short in many ways. Seeing the weaknesses and failures in my life and in my family life drives me back to the cross. The author of Hebrews gives me instructions on how to manage this as well. In Hebrews 4:16, he encourages all of us “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Song of Solomon 1:8

The Path of Righteousness

In Jack Hayford’s notes on the Song of Solomon, he says, “The Song contains portraits of the Shulamite woman along with a full array of her garden products. These should be taken both as poetic parallels of marital love and as covenant blessings of the people in their land.” I think he is right. One passage in the book gives clear directions on how to experience the covenant blessings of God. Song of Solomon 1:8 says, “If you do not know, O most beautiful among women, follow in the tracks of the flock, and pasture your young goats beside the shepherds’ tents.” Many commentators have observed that the Hebrew word for “tracks” is actually “heel prints.” It might be a subtle reference to Jacob, the heel grabber. One commentator observes, “Jacob’s shepherd role and his lifelong struggle for the blessing of God and man are cited as the biblical norm for God’s people (Hos. 12:3–6, 12, 13). He was born grasping his brother’s heel, a congenital manipulator. He was “disjointed” with deception at the core of his being as illustrated by his limp at Mahanaim (Gen. 32). He was forced to live outside the land under the threat of an angry brother. He returned to the land after twenty years with a faulty family foundation. Deception, lack of love, jealousy, anger, and love for hire (for mandrakes) went into the shaky substructure. The very names of the Twelve Tribes show the need for a new family history.”

It’s interesting to observe that in the Song of Solomon, the Shulamite presents a profound contrast to Jacob. In Mahanaim, instead of limping, she does a dance (see 6:13 compared to Genesis 32:2). In Jacob’s history, his dysfunctional family, established by the competitive nature of the four mothers of his 12 children, is reversed by the Shulamite. When she finds the one she loves she holds on to him and won’t let go. In 7:11-13 we read of fragrant mandrakes that grow in her fields. When the daughters of Israel see her they pronounce her blessed and happy. According to 7:13 she bears “pleasant fruit” which symbolizes the fulfillment of God’s promises to His covenant people living in the land of Promise. The foundation for a fully functional, healthy, happy family is found in the covenant promises of God. When we “follow in the tracks of the flock” we find still waters, green pastures, joy, peace and contentment in our homes and families.

On one of our trips to Israel we were on the bus traveling from one site to the next when one in our company asked the guide what those lines were that ascended up the hills and mountains in the distance. The tour guide explained those lines as being the paths of righteousness. They are the trails that the sheep have cut as they ascended the mountain for pasture. Sheep that wonder off those trails often found themselves in danger and lose their footing or get tangled in the brush and have to be rescued. The phrase “paths of righteousness” are frequently referred to in the Bible as the ways of God as explained in scripture. As we follow in these paths, we escape the dangers to our souls and to our families.

Colossians 3:10-13

Building on the Foundation

Paul made it clear to us that the foundation for any healthy life was the foundation that has already been laid for us. Paul had worked hard at laying the foundation in Colossae. Through the powerful working of the Holy Spirit, God used Paul to lay the same foundation for you and me. There was only one foundation that would be strong enough and solid enough to hold the superstructure of anyone’s life. Paul wrote, “According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (Colossians 3:10-11).

Notice in that verse that Paul establishes clearly the foundation as Jesus Christ, Himself. Paul and the Apostles laid that foundation in the Scriptures, but each person must build his or her own life on that foundation. We should build that life with great care. We should not skimp on the materials we use either. In the two following verses Paul adds, “Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done.” Gold, silver and precious stones are the materials that will make for a good superstructure and a valuable life. In contrast those who build with wood, hay, and stubble will find their efforts in vein. In the material world, gold, silver and precious stones have an innate resistance to fire, especially in comparison to wood hay and stubble. It’s really a matter of focusing on what truly matters most.

In John Courson’s Commentary, he writes, “A fire department received a shipment of high-tech helmets. Brightly colored, scuff-resistant, adjustable-strapped, they were incredible works of art, complete with five-hundred-dollar price tags. There was only one problem: They melted when they got near heat. Likewise, the Lord has to say to you and me, ‘You’re getting your house together, and your car all shiny. You’re involved with this gadget and that gizmo, this hobby and the other activity. But they’re not going to take the heat.’ When our lives are tested with fire at the judgment seat of Christ that which is wood, hay, and stubble will burn. Only that which is gold, silver, and precious stones will remain.” It seems our culture replaces the foundation that Paul laid with the building material. Instead of building our lives WITH the valuable things of life (silver, gold and precious gems), many end up building their lives ON silver and gold. We should invest in what really matters most; Loving God and loving others!

Ephesians 1:9-10, Romans 5:8

Foundational Love

God has always had a plan for us. God created each and every part of His marvelous universe with a very specific plan and purpose in mind. This of course is true for each of us. I often argue that God’s plan for us is unique in some ways but the same in other ways. The specific part of God’s plan for each individual is determined by how God created us. Our unique spiritual gifts, hearts (passions), abilities, personalities and experiences (SHAPE) work together to help us understand and fulfill God’s personal purpose for our lives. Yet it all begins with God’s general plan which only finds its fulfillment in Christ Jesus. In Ephesians 1, verse 9 & 10, Paul tells us that God made “…known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth.”

In His creative genius, God was not surprised or discouraged by the fall of man. Man’s sin was all part of His plan which would be settled once and for all on the cross of Calvary. Jesus was not an afterthought. He was the prime purpose and prime motive and prime initiative of God to communicate to a sinful man the depth of His love for us. Paul explained all this in great depth in the book of Romans. The verse that sums this up for us all in Romans 5:8, “but God demonstrates His own love for us in this; while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.” It doesn’t matter how deep our sin has taken us or what specific sins we’ve indulged in, God calls us all home. He waits for us in our sinful wanderings. He watches us try to build lives on wood, hay and stubble. He weeps as we find it all meaningless and useless. Money does not bring happiness. Pleasure only pleases for a moment and then the moment is gone. Power and prestige is no longer than the red carpet at the academy awards. It always has its end and leaves us with nothing of true value in the end. We try to find our purpose in the things of this world and end up lost, lonely, dejected, and empty! But God “demonstrates His own love for us in this…” The only foundation, upon which we can build a truly meaningful life, is the foundation of God’s love for us expressed on the Cross.

Many will remember the 60’s song “Tie a yellow ribbon round the ole’ oak tree.” The criminal who served his time in prison for the many crimes of his life was on the bus returning home. He had written a letter to his loved one explaining his release but knowing he’d not been the person he should have been, he requested that if she still wanted him back she was to tie a yellow ribbon around the tree. If he didn’t see a ribbon he’d go on by and not bother her again knowing that he was the one to blame for his loss. Of course the whole bus cheered when they saw “a hundred yellow ribbons around the old oak tree.” Listen, God loves each and every one of us much more than a hundred yellow ribbons. God’s astounding love for us was hung on the tree at Calvary. It not only communicated God’s deep love for us and his desire to welcome us home, it also made the payment for the crimes we’ve committed in life. Amazing grace…. How sweet the sound!

Luke 6:47-49, 1 Kings 6:12-13, Colossians 3:10-11

God’s Word: Solid Ground!

The importance of the foundation for any structure cannot be over emphasized. Without a firm foundation the entire structure is in jeopardy. Jesus used this truth to make spiritual truths obvious to those around him. He was good at using parables. The physical reality of things can help us understand the spiritual reality of things. In this case Jesus explained the importance of the foundation as He focused on the importance of hearing what He had to say. Jesus’ words are God’s Words. He said, “Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great” (Luke 6:47-49).

I expect that Jesus was well aware of the Old Testament teachings and how God dealt with His Family, His Children, the Israelites. He spoke to them through Moses at Sinai. He instructed them in the importance of obeying His words when they inhabited the land under Joshua. He disciplined them time and time again when they replaced the foundation of their lives with the sandy lands of the pagan nations around them through the 400 years of the period of the Judges. He built a dynasty and a house for David and called him to lead His people in the Words and Ways of God. He instructed Solomon in the building of His residence where he would dwell with His people (His Family) on earth. Upon nearing this construction, God spoke directly to Solomon and said, “Concerning this house that you are building, if you will walk in my statutes and obey my rules and keep all my commandments and walk in them, then I will establish my word with you, which I spoke to David your father. And I will dwell among the children of Israel and will not forsake my people Israel” (1 Kings 6:12-13). I can’t help but believe Jesus was referring to this promise as he spoke of the importance of the foundation in the Gospel of Luke.

Paul made it clear to us that the foundation for any healthy life was the foundation that has been laid for us. Paul had worked hard at laying the foundation in Colossae. Through the powerful working of the Holy Spirit, God used Paul to lay the same foundation for you and me. There was only one foundation that would be strong enough and solid enough to hold the superstructure of anyone’s life. Paul wrote, “According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (Colossians 3:10-11).

Exodus 13:14

First Things First

God instructed the Israelites how to answer the spiritual questions of their children. In Exodus 13:14, we read, “And when in time to come your son asks you, ‘What does this mean?’ you shall say to him, ‘By a strong hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt, from the house of slavery.” Similar instructions regarding the answers to children’s questions are recorded in Deuteronomy 6:20 and Joshua 4:6 and 4:20. We must always take the questions of our children seriously.

According to Our Daily Bread, “Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy told of an aunt who hurt him deeply when she didn’t take time to answer some questions that were troubling him. She stirred his emotions by telling him of Jesus’ crucifixion, but when he cried out, ‘Auntie, why did they torture Him?’ she said simply, ‘They were wicked.’ ‘But wasn’t He God?’ Tolstoy asked. Instead of explaining that Jesus was indeed God, that He had become a man so He could die for our sins, she said, ‘Be still—it is 9 o’clock!’ When he persisted, she retorted, ‘Be quiet, I say, I’m going to the dining room to have tea.’ This left young Tolstoy greatly agitated.” When Calvin Miller commented on this scene he added, “Tolstoy found it incomprehensible that Christ had been brutalized and his aunt was not interested enough to stay a little past teatime and talk about it.”

At our staff meeting this last week we discussed the difference between production and process. Jesus taught us more about the process than about the product. It was agreed upon by us all that when Clay said it’s much easier for him to pick up his daughter’s toys than to sit with her and teach her how to do it, we all shook our heads in the affirmative because we all know how often it’s much easier to do something just to get it done or to fulfill our agenda. But the process of making disciples of our children (and anyone!) requires patience, reprioritizing the experience, focusing on the calling of Christ in training others, and realizing that people are much more important than products. Reprioritizing our lives is always a challenge. Dr. Richard Halverson, Chaplain for the United States Senate, taught about the revolutionary concept of reprioritizing your life. He said, “First comes your commitment to Jesus Christ; second your commitment to your marriage partner; third, your commitment to your children; and fourth, your commitment to your work.”

1 Timothy 5:8

Leaving a Legacy

I’ve heard parents argue that life and health insurance is unbiblical. We should all trust God to take care of us. To invest in insurance is a lack of faith. I heard Matthew 6:33 quoted as the biblical foundation for this. It says, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Just as God feeds the birds, He’ll take care of us. Just as God clothes the lilies of the field, he’ll cloth us as well. Jesus did not say “don’t plan.” He said “Don’t worry.” Actually, like the man who builds his house upon the sand, or the man who studies his assets to determine if he has enough, or the man who invests his talents wisely, those who plan appropriately have much less to worry about!

In the registration line at Dallas Seminary back in 1982, the line included a final stop at the “Minister’s Life Insurance” table. The Administration required each student to have both health and life insurance. The insurance salesman would also visit the tables of men and women sitting at the student center as the argued theological issues and drank coffee, ate lunch, or just reflected on classes. I remember the salesman visiting our table and asking us about our life insurance. He quoted 1 Timothy 5:8 while reminding us all of our responsibility. It says, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. I was later to learn that this verse was the verse that was printed on all the stationary and promotional material for the Presbyterian Minister’s Fund Life Insurance Company. From what I read, it is the oldest life insurance company in the United States. The Seminary took seriously the responsibility of caring for one’s family and meeting their needs not only as we live with them, but also if we were to leave them behind. In every year at Seminary, of the 1700+ students, there was always someone who unexpectedly passed away. It was clear to us all that the loss of a material provider from a family could prove devastating for those left behind. We must also take seriously Paul’s exhortation to Timothy about the importance of caring for your family.

One commentator wisely said, “The fact is, you don’t know what the future holds, and so it is the wise steward who is prepared. Because in general, we do know that there will be times of sickness and death in our family. Since everyone becomes sick at some time, and everyone eventually dies. And because we don’t know exactly when, a conscientious Christian will prepare for those things that he knows will come. The Old Testament saints saved money, prepared for their deaths and oversaw the future dividing of the inheritance among their children. And they were wise stewards in doing so. They were not considered those who were lacking faith or trust in God. Preparing to leave your children the means to carry on after you are gone has nothing to do with a lack of trust in the Lord. It is simply good planning. Likewise, managing your funds for them ahead of time is the product of being a good and wise steward, and is not a lack of trust.”

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