Chuck Larsen

Not only is the wisdom that comes from above, heavenly wisdom, pure, but it is also peace loving. Living in a family that’s free from strife is a huge blessing. No family is perfect, of course, but we all know the calm that comes after a storm and how much we prefer peace to strife. In Genesis 13:8, a wise old man named Abraham recognized the strife that existed with his nephew Lot. The older gentleman, the one who had the resources through whom his nephew was blessed was the one who initiated the action to establish peace between the household members. He said, “So Abram said to Lot, Let there be no strife, I beg of you, between you and me, or between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are family.”

First of all notice that Abraham didn’t ignore the issue. There was a problem and he recognized it and brought it up to be dealt with openly and honestly. In the book of Ezekiel God condemns those who won’t face the truth when strife is at hand: Woe to those who proclaim ‘peace’ when there is no ‘peace.’ Jeremiah makes a similar cry against those refusing to face the situation honestly. Jeremiah 6:14 says, “They dress the wounds of my people as if they’re not serious and say peace, peace, when there is no peace.” Just putting a band aid on a serious wound will only make it worse in the long run. We have the tendency to act like everything is OK, when it isn’t. We often avoid the reality of a situation in the home, at school, at work, in the church with others simply to maintain peace. But as one writer remarks concerning this tendency, “Their avoidance heals the wound only slightly and prepares the way for greater trouble.” Loving peace means we’re willing to pay the price that is necessary to establish and maintain true peace in our relationships in our families and everywhere else in life as well.

In James 3:17, wisdom is also said to be a “willingness to yield to others.” Balancing the confrontation issues with a yielded spirit is one of the more difficult things to manage in all of our relationships. Abraham set the perfect example. He courageously brought up the issue that needed to be dealt with and he then magnanimously offered a gentle, humble solution to the problem. He offered his nephew Lot first choice of all the land. This is a remarkable thing seeing that God had appeared to Abraham and told him that He had given this land to Abraham. But Abraham wouldn’t lay claim to something if it would upset the peace with his family. James concludes is passage by saying, “those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.”

The wisdom to live in healthy and wholesome families comes from God. It’s not an accumulation of a vast collection of facts and figures nor is it the piling on of experiences, one after another. Whereas knowledge and experience help serve us in life, wisdom from above is only acquired from above. The beginning of wisdom, the Bible teaches, is “fear of the Lord.” It begins with a humble recognition of the supremacy of God and the sub ordnance of man. James in 3:17, describes this heavenly wisdom. He says, “…the wisdom that comes from above is first of all pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

The wisdom upon which we can build healthy family relationships as well as healthy relationships with others begins with purity. When we think of this concept we mostly think of our sexual conduct. It’s interesting that wisdom is “first of all” pure. It begins with it. Purity opens the channel to God’s wisdom. We cannot be what God wants us to be if we’re not willing to put away sexual sin. Sexual sin will always keep us from God and God from us. In Chapter 4, James urges his readers to “draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” Yet he adds immediately the procedure that’s necessary for an honest open communion with God. He says, “cleanse your hands…” Hand washing was a coming clean, confession and repentance, for sins already committed. If we’re going to open a channel to God through which His wisdom can flow into our lives and families, we must come clean of sexual impurity.

Yet it’s not enough to stop a sinful conduct. It’s also a matter of the heart and mind. James goes on in Chapter 4 and adds to his exhortation. He says, “Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded.” The prominence of pornography in today’s world corrupts our hearts and minds and bars our contact with God. No one can draw near to God with unclean hands or an unclean mind. The wisdom we need to live healthy and happy lives evades us at every turn. It only comes from above and one cannot connect with God with impure lives and impure minds. We are all so tempted to divorce our private thought lives from our religious lives and hope that never the twain shall meet. But God allows no such bifurcation of our lives.

Wisdom is the “motor oil” of every family dynamic. Without it, your family will freeze up, lock up, or blow up. When we think of “wisdom” we often think of knowledge. Einstein was a very “wise” man. We think of experience. The one who has been around a long time and has been through it all has become wise. Time in and of itself, however, does not bring wisdom. There is a vast difference between age and wisdom. The late Howard Hendricks told his class about an acquaintance that had one year of experience 25 times. He said, “There’s a difference between having 25 years of experience and having one year of experience 25 times.” It’s not doing the same things over again that produces wisdom. Also, knowledge is not wisdom. You can learn billions of facts and figures and even understand advanced mathematical formulas, but that does not constitute wisdom. Wisdom is more than experience and it’s more than knowledge. In fact “knowledge” can be totally contradictory to God’s description of wisdom. It simply makes us proud and arrogant (See 1 Corinthians 8:1).

The first chapter of Proverbs teaches us that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 1:7). It’s mostly concerned with our relationship to God and to others that is the central focus of Biblical Wisdom. It’s not until we recognize our place in the master scheme of things and surrender ourselves to God’s will that we begin to grow wise. The wise person is praised in the Bible, especially in the book of Proverbs. He or she is honored by God. It’s not the arrogant winner, the self-sufficient millionaire, or the prideful successful celebrity that receives the title of “wise.” No it’s those who surrender to the greatness of God and worship Him. Wisdom and Humility go hand in hand. The wisest man ever to live, Solomon, connects the two in Proverbs 15:33. He writes, “The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord brings instruction in Wisdom, and humility comes before honor.”

Unlike the secular system we live in, to God one cannot grow wise until he or she grows humble. James, the author of the Epistle, writes (James 3:13) “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.” Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord. It then proceeds to produce humility, and finally results in thoughts and actions in our relationships with those around us. When James defines wisdom in some following verses (James 3:17-18), we see that wisdom finds its description in a person’s relationship with God and with others. He says, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”