True Biblical leadership is leadership by example. Paul told Titus to keep his eyes open for people whose lives are above reproach. Leaders must be those who have good reputations. The first thing that destroys a person’s reputation is sexual impurity. Leadership begins at home! The relationship one has with their spouses is of first importance as far as reputation is concerned and the second thing is the family in general. Paul charges Titus, Timothy and all of us to give highest priority in disciple making to the members of our immediate family; our children.

Paul tells Titus to look for leaders among those whose children are faithful and not given to “dissipation.” This last term refers to older children who are rebellious. In my day they were called “juvenile delinquents.” In a study conducted several years ago, sociologists Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck of Harvard University identified several crucial factors in the development of juvenile delinquency. They created a test that can, with about 90 percent accuracy, predict future delinquency of children five to six years old. They listed four necessary factors in preventing juvenile delinquency. First, the father’s discipline must be firm, fair, and consistent. Second, the mother must know where her children are and what they are doing at all times and be with them as much as possible. Third, the children need to see affection demonstrated between their parents and from their parents to them. And fourth, the family must spend time together as a unit.
Similar studies suggest that right parent-child relationships normally occur in contexts where the parents genuinely love one another, where discipline is consistent, where the child senses that he or she is loved, where the parents set a positive moral and spiritual example.

John MacArthur summarizes these findings this way: “The bottom line is this: The example you live out before your children is what most affects them. Many parents make the mistake of being overly concerned about how they are perceived in the church and in the community, while completely disregarding the way they live before their children. Nothing makes the truth more distasteful to a child than to have a hypocritical or spiritually shallow parent who affirms the truth publicly but denies it in the home.”

“If someone does not know how to lead the family, how can that person take care of God’s church?” 1 Timothy 3:5