Living in a family that’s free from strife is a huge blessing. No family is perfect, of course, but we all know the calm that comes after a storm and how much we prefer peace to strife. The wisest man in the world, Solomon, suggests it is more pleasant to have meager means than to live in a household of great wealth accompanied by constant strife. In Genesis 13:8, a wise old man named Abraham recognized the strife that existed with his nephew Lot. The older gentleman, the one who had the resources through whom his nephew was blessed, was the one who initiated the action to establish peace between the household members. He said, “So Abram said to Lot, Let there be no strife, I beg of you, between you and me, or between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are family.”
First of all, notice that Abraham didn’t ignore the issue. There was a problem, and he recognized it and brought it up to be dealt with openly and honestly. In the book of Ezekiel, God condemns those who won’t face the truth when strife is at hand: “Woe to those who proclaim ‘peace’ when there is no ‘peace.’” Jeremiah makes a similar cry against those refusing to face the situation honestly. Jeremiah 6:14 says, “They dress the wounds of my people as if they’re not serious and say peace, peace when there is no peace.” Just putting a Band-Aid on a serious wound will only make it worse in the long run. We have the tendency to act like everything is OK when it isn’t. We often avoid the reality of a situation in the home, at school, at work, or in the church with others simply to maintain peace. But as one writer remarks concerning this tendency, “Their avoidance heals the wound only slightly and prepares the way for greater trouble.” Loving peace means we’re willing to pay the price that is necessary to establish and maintain true peace in our relationships in our families and everywhere else in life as well.
In James 3:17, wisdom is also said to be a “willingness to yield to others.” Balancing the confrontation issues with a yielded spirit is one of the more difficult things to manage in all of our relationships. Abraham set the perfect example. He courageously brought up the issue that needed to be dealt with, and he then magnanimously offered a gentle, humble solution to the problem. He offered his nephew Lot the first choice of all the land. This is a remarkable thing, seeing that God had appeared to Abraham and told him that He had given this land to Abraham. But Abraham wouldn’t lay claim to something if it would upset the peace with his family. James concludes his discussion in 3:17 by saying, “Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.”