How we present ourselves to the world is something we should pay attention to. The Apostle Paul thought that making a good first impression was important. Speaking about how we present ourselves to the world, Paul writes in Colossians 4:5-6, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Notice the word “always.” Our speech should always be “gracious.” My speech is often graceless. I regret to confess that my tongue has always been my greatest weakness. It gets me in trouble more than anything else. What I say, how I say it, and when I say it all contribute to what might be called “graceless” speech. We need to be consistent in gracious speech at all times. Whereas in verse 5, Paul seems to be addressing first impressions. In verse 6, he stresses a continued, consistent testimony.
The longer you know someone, the more you find about them to dislike. We all have worts, scars, pimples, etc., that we like to hide from those on whom we make first impressions. But sooner or later, they become apparent. You know the old saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt…” There is some truth to that. The true uniqueness of Christ was that the closer you got to Him, the more you saw of him, the better he looked. Not by the way he dressed because his dress was totally unremarkable. That’s a good lesson for us regarding our grooming standards and dress codes. When facing his many accusers, Jesus challenged them to examine his life to see if there were any deficiencies. There were no sins to accuse Jesus of. They had to make up charges against him. Pilate answered all the religious leaders when he said of Jesus, “I find no flaw in Him.”
I’m not always sure what “gracious speech” sounds like. That’s where wisdom comes in. Paul says we should “walk in wisdom” before we speak. Hendriksen describes what gracious speech is, “Perhaps the best description of gracious speech is found in the words of Paul himself: “speaking truth in love” (Eph. 4:15), and the best example in the words of Jesus, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).”[1] According to James, there isn’t anything more powerful than the tongue, like the bridle on a horse. It directs where he goes. Like the rudder on a ship, it will steer the whole ship. James concludes that there is nothing more difficult than controlling one’s tongue. The tongue is my greatest challenge. One of my favorite memory verses is from Proverbs 22:11. It reads, “He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.” Jesus is my King, and I sure want to be friends with Him.
[1] Hendriksen, William, and Simon J. Kistemaker. 1953–2001. Exposition of Colossians and Philemon. Vol. 6. New Testament Commentary. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.