One of the most difficult challenges in life is children. We love them. We are always proud of them. We always value them. The Bible gives the responsibility of children to their parents. The government does not own our children. The public school system does not own our children. Children are the responsibility of their parents. Hurley says, “Parents who refuse to discipline their children and punish them when discipline fails stifle their learning skills. Only children who learn accountability and who suffer for irresponsibility can constructively handle pain, disappointment, and failure as they mature. In responding to parental penalties, children learn how to manage greater rejections later. Children will grow older naturally but will mature only as parents prepare them for adulthood.[1] The book of Proverbs has numerous instructions to parents on this responsibility. One of the primary verses is Proverbs 13:24. It says, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
I’ve known this passage to be used to justify the abuse of children. That is not what is meant by it. The scriptures are solid instructions for training and discipline, not only for children but for all of us. We are valued by God. That means we’re loved. God’s discipline in our life is evidence of His love for us. Both the Old Testament and the New Testament say this. We all face discipline when we disobey, and we should train our children accordingly. Hurley goes on to say, “Hardly any child-behavior expert denies that parents need to clearly define and enforce rules for children.”
In a Navajo puberty ceremony, the child lies on blankets placed on the ground. He has his legs and arms pulled straight to grow tall. Then, his mouth is slapped four times so he will not talk too much. Each culture has its own approach to child-rearing. I don’t think my mouth was slapped enough when I was going through puberty. My mouth got me into more trouble when I was a teenager than I care to admit. I still struggle with saying the right things at the right time. Solomon said in Proverbs 14:3, “The proud speech of a fool brings a rod of discipline, but the lips of the wise protect them.” We are no longer diligent to discipline. We have children killing other children. We have teenage mobs robbing our retail stores in major US cities. Our culture seems to have raised a generation of rebellious, disrespectful, loud-mouthed kids who are know-it-alls and won’t listen to any instruction. The entertainment industry does not help this situation. Hurley adds, “The permissive American approach is shocking to many other cultures. Having bombastic, know-it-all kids on our television programs has only exacerbated that perception.” I used to tell my sons that if we, as parents, didn’t discipline them when they were young and under our love, care, and protection, the police, courts, and the prison system would have to make up for our failures. I don’t think I can say that anymore.
[1] Hurley, Virgil. 2000. Speaker’s Sourcebook of New Illustrations. Electronic ed. Dallas: Word Publishers.