When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church the first and primary result is in the depth of security that the wife experiences. Studies have shown that the deepest need in women is a sense of security. In a study of Ephesians, Chapter 5, verses 25 to 29, there are four ways that a husband’s love is to be expressed. When Paul exhorts husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church he adds and “gave himself for her.” The first thing about a husbands love is that it is to be sacrificial. He must give up, sacrifice, his own interests and desires in order to fulfill this mandate. True love can only be expressed in a “giving” exercise. God so loved the world that he “gave.”

Biblical love is also deliberate. It’s not an emotion as much as it is a choice. It was an act of his will that Christ chose to give himself for the church. He set his face like a flint to accomplish that calling. It was an immovable commitment that took incredible courage and determination. In the garden, Jesus struggled with his destiny and prayed for strength and surrendered his own human will to the Father. Not only is love sacrificial and deliberate it is also authentic. It must be demonstrated. Romans 5:8 says, “God demonstrated His Love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Authentic love is always expressed through action. One more aspect of Christ like love is that it must be unconditional. If there are conditions and strings attached to a man’s attitude toward his wife, he does not love his wife like Christ loved the church. To love your wife like Christ loved the church, husbands, your love must be sacrificial, deliberate, authentic, and unconditional.

If we can learn to love our wives like this, what impact will it have on her? Any woman who has a husband who loves her like that will agree that it is the most secure place in the world to be. When a woman is known intimately by her husband, including her weaknesses and shortcomings, and is still loved like this, it will create a deep sense of security in her. This security will enable her to be the wife that she’s called to be because her deepest need in the relationship has been meet. As husbands are called to be the spiritual leaders, above all else that might mean, it means to love like Christ loved. He must be what God calls him to be, before the stage is set for his wife to be all that God wants her to be. God has given men great influence. He has the power to create security in another human being. He does so by loving her like Christ loved the church.